Garbage In Garbage Out!

Garbage In, Garbage Out!

September has gained momentum and is now one more waning month. Waning also is the year. Saturday the 23rd was the first day of autumn. The days are growing visibly shorter, the sunlight ever more lacking with each fall of the golden orb into the Western Sea.

Luckily, San Diego's seasonal changes are less dramatic than those of most regions. The weather's still warm and sunny.

I have started my latest battle with Medi-Cal. The program's annual "redermination" has proceeded to bollix me up. As happens nearly every year, I have had to file an appeal in order to keep my health benefits in tact. The state seems determined to punish honest, working people with disabilities. Even though they are not supposed to count my SSDI income among my resources, the genius social worker in charge of my case went ahead and did so. This would give me a share of cost on IHSS (In Home Supportive Services) of $380 per month. In other words, they want to force me to pay nearly all of Harold's wages.

When I argued with the social worker about what he'd done, he got defensive and replied "We have a new computer system and all I do is put in the numbers." When I recited the formulas he's supposed to use, he blamed the computer. I slammed the phone down after telling him "a computer is only as good as its operator."

Well, back to playing EQ or WOW for a while.

Arminius Returneth

Arminius Returneth

Well, today I had some free time and logged into EverQuest, my old stomping grounds. It was great to see all my guild buddies and especially Salelann, my friend who's taken such good care of "Arm" in my absence.

I got to explore the new zones a bit, but then typical of SOE, the game server crashed and dumped me out to Windows. After seven years of playing, it's good to see some things never change!!

More later... Or, WOW, here I come!

David

Go Chargers

Go, Chargers!

Last night's Chargers-Raiders game was sweet for all of us fans in San Diego. The Chargers rolled over the Raiders, 27-0. Phillip Rivers looked ready to go as the new starting QB. Now, let's see what the team can do next week!

Everything else is rolling along well for me. I've been working hard, and reaping some of the benefits of that.

Also, I finished watching all the episodes of ROME on DVD I bought a few weeks ago.  The series is superb, and I can't wait for the new season! Don't forget, LOST will be starting in a few weeks. And a new AMAZING RACE starts Sunday!

The weather's been great; you can "sort of" feel autumn in the air, as we think of it in Southern California.

Worst Episode Ever

Worst Episode, Ever!

So, Joe and I are big Deadwood fans--that's the very dark western that's been running on HBO for the past three seasons. After a rather long and slow build-up, we had great expectations for the series finale.

Well, I sat through the final episode and all I can say is, "What a crock!" Got to be one of the worst episodes, and worst series finales, in the history of TV. It was as though the writers set out to give the audience a big "middle finger."

Let us count the sins:"

1. Hurst got off Scott-free after a season and a half of sociopath behavior, including ordering the murders of half-a-dozen characters.


2. This whole season, Swearengen has been coming off as rather an honorable and likeable criminal. He started out as the show's villain, before Hurst showed up. In the final episode, he slits the throat of an "innocent" prostitute in his employ in order to keep Hurst from murdering Trixie, the whore who shot Hurst. Why build Swearengen up to be a "good guy" and then knock him back down at the end? Why did he and the others choose to cop out of the battle with Hurst?


3. Bullock was oddly taken out of a couple of the last episodes to "campaign for sheriff." Why? Clearly the hands of the authors were visible in this machination, to keep Bullock out of the way for other action.


4. The widow sold her claim to Hurst in order to be able to stay in town, then left at the end, right behind Hurst's stagecoach! Both her husbands died in vain.


5. The Earp brothers appeared in the last third of the season for a couple of episodes, giving hope that they might stick around to battle Hurst. No way the writers could have conceived of that, I guess. Instead, the Earp boys just uselessly disappeared after Bullock told them to leave town.


6. There's more, but that basically runs the gamut of the important stuff.

On other fronts, not much new to report. I finished the Project Management class and got an A. Next up, Presentation Skills for Technical Communicators in about a month. On other projects for ML, I've been quite busy. Which is great! I'll never get back to Europe without money!

The weather here has been quite pleasant. Low 80s at the worst. A great Early Autumn preview.

More ruminations later....

David

Apropos Mon Secret

Apropos Mon Secret

J'écris en français parce que aucun de mes amis ne connaît pas cette langue langoureuse qui exprime si bien les bouleversements de l'esprit. Ni mes amis, ni ma famille ne sachent les douleurs de mon existence.

Donc, voilà un ancien poème de Verlaine qui dit tout sur le sujet:

Il pleure dans mon coeur . . . "
II pleut doucement sur la ville.Arthur Rimbaud
Il pleure dans mon coeur
Comme il pleut sur la ville,
Quelle est cette langueur
Qui pénètre mon coeur?

O bruit doux de la pluie
Par terre et sur les toits!
Pour un coeur qui s'ennuie
O le chant de la pluie!

Il pleure sans raison
Dans ce coeur qui s'écoeure.
Quoi! nulle trahison?
Ce deuil est sans raison.

C'est bien la pire peine
De ne savoir pourquoi,
Sans amour et sans haine,
Mon coeur a tant de peine!

From Romances sans paroles (1874

Saturday Fun

Saturday Fun

This morning I got up early (for me) and went to the ML meeting at Starbucks. It was a productive meeting, overall. What I really like about the group is that everyone is friendly and on the ball. No slacking; no BS. And Bonni's a great supervisor/owner. I wouldn't be where I am today without her!

After the meeting, I came home and took a nap after I ate a late breakfast. Harold and I hung out for a while and we watched TV. Nothing on, really, Saturdays. Despite all the channels!

Then around 6:30 my parents came over and brought KFC. We ate their yummy coleslaw and mashed potatoes. And the chicken isn't bad, either! Then we watched the remake of Fun with Dick and Jane on DVD. It starred Jim Carrey and was much better than I expected.

Tomorrow morning I'll work on my current project until my parents pick me up for church and dinner. Deadwood is on tomorrow night! Pretty much the highlight of the TV week for the summer. I can't wait till Rome starts again, too.

David's Day at the Dentist

David's Day at the Dentist

I thought Id tell you about my day at the dentists.  I'll try not to bore you!

I went to the dentist today, because part of a crown broke off in my mouth on Monday. That morning, I was eating an English muffin with peanut butter. Suddenly... CRUCH!!! I thought, well thats odd--this is supposed to be Creamy Jiff! Then I spit out the food (how appetizing, I know) and saw little white and silver bits. Yikes! Luckily on Monday, there was no pain....

Well, I got into the office this morning, and the doctor started working on me right away; that was the good news. The bad news? Not only did I need a new crown, but a root canal to boot! Two hours and $1740 later, Im out the door with a numb mouth and a charged up credit card.

As soon as the numbness wears off, Im using up my last Roxycodone and taking a ride on the Rush Limbaugh Express.

Q: What's more painful than a root canal?
A: Paying for it!

Driving Me Crazy

Driving Me Crazy!

Well, Harold and I drove over to the Miramar College parking lot yesterday, which was huge and completely empty. We had gone out to exchange a memory card for my camera, and he convinced me to head to the lot on our way back from Best Buy.

So, Harold unbolted the driver's seat from its position and I locked the chair into place. As I pulled the chair into position, a wave of nausea washed over me from head to toe; I thought I might faint. Leftover trauma from the accident, I presume.

Once I got the chair locked down, we tooled around the parking area. Because of my short right leg (thank you, Dr. "What do you use your legs for" T), I cannot reach the gas pedal by about an inch. So Harold (bravely) sat next to me and used the 30-inch-long tire iron to press on the gas. He also could use it to hit the brake if necessary (it wasn't).

Some things were immediately obvious. Besides the gas pedal, I'll have to have the brake pedal adjusted a bit further back. My left leg doesn't flex as much as it used to, so I have a hard time getting my foot up to the pedal. Once the foot is there, braking is just fine, however.

We did not put the shift lever extension in place. I have no idea how shifting will go yet. In general, I seemed father away from the dash than before. I don't know if that's a difference in the chair or me. I also had trouble clicking the turn signal fully on. I think that's just a matter of regaining some more strength, however.

I definitely will want a new tie-down system, seatbelts, and so on, which I hope to get funded by Rehab while I'm still a client of theirs.

Overall, it was a successful venture. My first time behind the wheel in 2.5 years. We spent about an hour cruising the lot, making figure eights and driving down the side lanes. Even though the heat was raging, my van's AC works great, and I was so excited to be driving that I hardly noticed the temperature. My arms did get a good workout, too. I need to do a lot more "lot surfing" to get up to speed, but I'm optimistic. It reminded me of my first time behind the wheel with my nurse driving instructor, Sandy Bartlow. That day, which remains fresh in my memory from the summer of 1974 (I was 18), she drove my 1973 Chevy van to the stadium parking lot, and transferred me to the driver's seat, with a cushion underneath to adjust my height. Once I drove around the stadium a few times, I knew I could accomplish anything. Yes, my van needed modifications, but when all was said and done, I scored a 95/100 on my California driving exam.

Up until 2004, that day proved to be a good omen of success to come. One single day in May changed all that. But now, I'm looking forward to getting back "in the driver's seat" of life.

Freaky Friday

Freaky Friday

So I went out today and had lunch with my friend Jan. Instead of him bringing me food, as we've been doing since my accident, we got into my van and drove to Mimi's. It was a very pleasant outing, despite the horrendous heatwave we've been experiencing all summer. Even as I write this blog entry, the downtown temperature is hovering around 75 degrees Fahrenheit, with high humidity.

Anyway, Jan had the Chicken Cordon Bleu and I had the French Quarter Burger. Both were excellent, and we took a lot home. We also walked over to Starbuck's and bought lattes.

I spent the rest of the afternoon catching up on my document library project for work. This weekend, I'll also be catching up on my homework for the PM class, as well as filling out reams of paperwork for my Medi-Cal redetermination. Oh, yea!!

Tomorrow after I get up, I'm taking the driver's seat out of the van and seeing what I can do. Wish me luck!

I'm tired of being an invalid... In any sense of the word.

Farenheit 101

Farenheit 101

Well, the last few weeks have been so hot you could roast a London Broil on the sidewalk. It may or may not be global warming, but it's damn uncomfortable!

In a few minutes, my friend Jan is coming over for a visit, Starbucks in hand. That's cool; we haven't gotten together in a while, since he works and lives in Maryland now.

A week and a half ago, I saw the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie. It was a lot of fun--Johnny Depp is a masterful actor. As with a lot of recent blockbuster movies, I thought the film was a little too long, and dragged through the "muddled middle." Still, it had all the right elements of a rollicking comedy/adventure.

Meanwhile, Deadwood continues into its final season. Last week's highlight (and the highlight of the whole season so far) was the huge fight to the death between Dority and Captain Turner. The best man won, and kept both his eyes in his sockets! Deadwood is not a show for the faint of heart.

My Project Management class is in its 4th week and is progressing nicely. I have nothing to complain about! And I'm working on several projects for Manual Labour. Yee Haw!

Comicon comes to town this weekend. That'll be a blast, I'm sure. Sony's even giving bus rides from the Convention Center to their headquarters in Sorrento Mesa. I probably won't go, though. Heat, crowds, and traffic are an evil combination.

T. and I are going to lunch tomorrow--yay! Can't wait to spend time with her again.

Peering into the Shadows

Peering into the Shadows

I’m feeling sad tonight; I don’t know quite why. Maybe it’s just that I’m tired from writing all day. Tech writing rather fries and scrambles the brain sometimes. Plus, the boys have been here all evening, yelling and roughhousing around the living room. My eyes feel droopy. My head feels like it was put on backwards this morning. What’s wrong with me? I hate it when I get into these moods....  Do you (dear reader) ever feel this way, or am I the only person in the world who so senses the isolation and ennui coursing through his (or her) body. Or perhaps there are questions that just cannot be answered.

When I took French at USD, one of the first novels we read was by a girl named Françoise Sagan. It was called Bonjour Tristesse– “Hello Sadness.” That’s me tonight, peering over the edge of the deep dark well of loneliness and crying “Hello!” into the simmering shadows.

The Fourth of Never

The Fourth of Never

Well, today's the Fourth of July! The sun is baking everything beneath it today; the temperatures have been hovering in the 90s for a week or so. I know the ancients used to pray to the Sun God, but I would gladly sacrifice my first-born (or at least a fatted calf) for mercy from the Rain God!

Today I went computer shopping with T. She's so sweet, and learned all about the tie-downs and driving the van with aplomb. I don't think Joe thought she could do it!

The Mira Mesa parade and fireworks are today. I saw the setup for the parade on Mira Mesa Boulevard around 11:00 this morning. I personally would not sit in the blazing midday July heat just to see an amateur parade. Tonight the community will hold its annual fireworks at 9:00. My parents are coming over and we're going to watch the King Kong remake. None of us wants to deal with the fireworks crowd and traffic. Besides, the Summer Pops has much better ones by the bay!

I started my Project Management course with Bonni last week. I think this will be a very beneficial feather to place in my career cap, even though I cannot avow that the topic excites me much.

Deus Ex Police Box

Deus Ex Police Box

So last night I was watching the season finale of Dr. Who. It was broadcast on Sci Fi a few weeks ago, but I never got around to watching it. I saved it on my DVR for a boring TV night, which last evening definitely was.

The final episode (of a two-parter) revolved around the comeback of the Daleks and their emperor, intent upon destroying the Earth and "harvesting" humanity. Just when things looked their bleakest, i.e., the Earth was about to be destroyed and Dr. Who killed, all was saved by pretty Miss Rose, who had "looked into the heart of the Tardis" and gained godlike powers over space-time. Rose the Goddess wiped out the Daleks with a wave of the hand, saved the doctor, and revived Captain Jack from his mortal slumber.

I think any time a story comes to a close with a mortal human assuming godlike powers to save the day, it has to be considered a case of Deus Ex Machina (God from the Machine). That is, it's an artificial plot device brought from nowhere to save the day. The writers of Dr. Who cleverly attempted to disguise their ruse by having the motto "Bad Wolf" sprinkled in unlikely places throughout most of the season's earlier episodes. Turned out that "Bad Wolf" was Rose trying to communicate with herself in the past. Thus, enough forshadowing was initiated that the Deus Ex Machina was cloaked from view for as long as possible.

Isn't that the way with so much SF, though? The hero (an avatar, perhaps, of a helpless teenager) becomes a god and proves his worth. It rather lives out adolescent fantasies of powerlessness taking the reigns of power. It's a good trope when it's not overly used. In the case of Dr. Who, however, it came pretty damn close to ruining an otherwise decent story.

Emily and Me

Emily and Me

Lately I've been rediscovering the poetry of Emily Dickenson. I studied her works a lot when I was in Dennis Clausen's American Lit classes at USD. Then, like a lot of things from my undergraduate days, she fell by the wayside.

What I noticed about the "Belle of Amherst" is that she thinks a lot like me. She was a recluse by choice or neurosis, evidently. I, on the other hand, have been living in a sort of Plato's Cave since that accident back in 2004. If you don't drive in Southern California, you are screwed.

It's not that I don't still have friends whom I love to see: I do. Donna and Marina above all others. And my new coworkers have been a joy to know. Then there is celle que j'aime, dont le nom reste inconnu au plan du monde extérieur.

But getting back to Emily, she was always writing about human concerns: nature, death, love. What more is there? Knowledge... The mind/body problem. Look at the following poem:


The BRAIN is wider than the sky,
  For, put them side by side,
The one the other will include
  With ease, and you beside.

The brain is deeper than the sea,
  For, hold them, blue to blue,
The one the other will absorb,
  As sponges, buckets do.

The brain is just the weight of God,
  For, lift them, pound for pound,
And they will differ, if they do,
  As syllable from sound.


Consider the paradox. We can imagine anything that exists in the universe, yet the universe does not appear to imagine us... Or does it? If you take quantum mechanics and string theory to its extreme, you arrive at the anthropic principle: the universe exists because we perceive it. We, all of us, are the omniscient observer who brings the un-being into existence. But, the universe then becomes self-referential, a tautology. We observe, we think, and matter pops into existence. Matter then pops into existence to create the observer who will initiate even more parallel universes, ad infinitum. See the paradox?

Memento Mori

Memento Mori

When got home from shopping on Saturday, I saw this beautiful card in my mail. It was from my doctor’s office. I tore the card out of its envelope with a great sense of anticipation—it looked like a party invitation or something. But it was actually a death notice. “We regret to inform you of the untimely death of Sue Fenton-Warner, our beloved nurse practitioner, on May 26, 2006. I was in shock! I’ve known this kind, caring woman for 10 years. She was around my age, maybe a couple of years older; she seemed to be the picture of health. I just saw her a month ago when I went for my 3-month visit!
 
Sue is the second person I’ve known who has died without warning and prematurely in the last month. Rich, the husband of my former coworker Brigitte, died of a sudden, massive heart attack in May. It was totally unexpected. Shortly before Rich’s death, they had just celebrated their “110th” birthday party after a volleyball game—on the beach.
 
I don’t know, it makes me feel so... precarious, so empty. Why do I live and these good people pass away? What’s so special about me that there is some plan I’ve yet to fulfill?
 
My best friend when I went to “Sunshine School” on Balboa Avenue was a black kid with Duchenne MD named Shane. We went everywhere together. I hung out with him and his family so much, I started to think I WAS black. You might say I was a wannabe black before it was HIP to wannabe black! His dad was a drill instructor at MCRD. After we fought so hard to get out of that school, I got into Kearney first. The school officials promised Shane could get in the next semester, if I did well. So I worked my ass off to succeed. But, then just around Christmas time, Shane caught pneumonia and died. That’s the fate of all kids with MD. All the boys I went to elementary school with died before age 18.
 
When my mom married my step-dad in 1971, he had three kids of his own. The oldest, Wayne, was born with a congenital heart defect. He was 9 years younger than I. Of my three step-siblings, he and I were the closest. He was very artistic, and in fact I still have one of his little drawings in my room. He died of a heart attack at age 20, while a majoring in photography at Palomar College.

It makes you think... Memento Mori

Night of the Living Republicans

Night of the Living Republicans

This land we call our country, which we manifestly stole from the Indians and the Mexicans, is not a democracy. The oligarchs have manipulated elections to their own ends, which are not the public's ends, but rather, the End of the Republic.

Yesterday the Zombie Republicans crept forth from their whitewashed tombs and elected Brian Bilbray to replace disgraced, traitorous Republican congressman Duke Cunningham. That the people of the district could replace a Republican crook with a Republican lobbyist and demagogue fully demonstrates that our system is in its last throes. The 50th District has been so gerrymandered that no Democrat, ever, could win an election there. The Republicans own an overwhelming majority, and they would rather keep true to the party than think for themselves.

"Brains! Braiiiinnnns!" The zombies cry. If only the voters had the brains to make a meal worthy of a zombie, perhaps yesterday's election would have turned out different.

Here There Be Monsters

Here There Be Monsters

Last night, I finally got around to watching Stephen King's Desperation. I'm always a little leery when a film or book needs to include the author's name in the title. After all, great books don't need that. Ever hear of "Moses' The Bible," or "Herman Melville's Moby Dick"? The title should lead to the author, not the other way around.

Anyway, back to the movie. I found the first hour quite good, the second quite bad, and the third quite boring. My favorite line from the first hour: "I'm gonna stick a pole through your mother and spin her till she catches fire!" Now, that was the kind of line I'd like to write.

Ron Perleman did a great job as the evil, possessed sheriff. Sadly, he disappeared after the first half of the movie, to be replaced by a much-less-convincingly possessed woman. One thought occurred to me, as it sprang again to my mind. The first time it occurred to me was in watching Mel Gibson's neo-Romanesque epic, "The Passion of the Christ." Why do we still associate physical ugliness with moral ugliness? Not that I want to rain on Perleman's acting gigs, but movies (and books) need to separate themselves from the notion that someone's physical appearance tells us anything significant about his or her state of mind, or sinfulness. Anyone remember Quasimodo?

Mr. King needs to raise his fiction above the stereotypical. I stopped reading his books in the 80s, for basically that reason. He writes formula, and formula only. The original ideas and characters of his first few novels--the whole notion of "horror in everyday life," has become subsumed by automatic writing. It's as if King had that weird typewriter from Tommyknockers kocking out his works page by page. Just as in "It" and numerous others, King sticks to the Hero's Journey a bit too literally. His novels are quests, in which an unlikely circle of friends must confront a horrible monster (or monsters).

At first, I thought the kid, David, was the hero on the journey last night. But the real hero proved to be the author character, who had to atone for past sins. Like the heroes in Campbell's book, the author character receives the call to adventure, at first refuses it, then makes the journey to the "inmost cave," which in this story was--literally--a cave! The boy, David, was not the hero, but rather the mentor character.

Ugly people everywhere, unite! Don't let lazy writers keep you down....

Last Sunday in May

Last Sunday in May

Today is the final Sunday in May, and it’s warm and spring-like. It seems that summer is just around the corner, though it’s technically about three weeks off.

Like millions of others, I watched the season finale of LOST last Wednesday night. It was good. Some things just worked well, while other aspects left me scratching my head. I think the writers need to stop being lazy, and stop letting the “plot” drive the characters.

Was it just me, or did most of the castaways take a stupid pill? What was up with Eko setting off dynamite in a closed chamber, then not even trying to get away before the fuse blew the joint a new “hatch”? And what about Desmond? How could he have believed Locke’s story about the button being fake, when he had personally experienced just some of what it could do the day he killed Kelvin? And Michael? Believing these Others, especially after Walt told him “they’re pretending,” just seemed unbelievably obtuse.

I did really like the four-toed giant statue and the electromagnetic “anomaly,” though.

Tonight, I’ll go to Mass with my parents. That will be pleasant. They’re going to a party, though, and I’ll just have them drop me off at home. That’s assuming Harold arrives on time with my van, which he borrowed last night.

This week, I’ll be finishing up my Writer’s Guide and starting a document inventory for Bonni. I’m also going to ask Rehab to enroll me in Bonni’s project planning course.

See you in another life, brothers!

Bad Day at Black Rock

Bad Day at Black Rock

This week, we viewers got to enjoy the next-to-last season episode of LOST, as well as the final-forever episode of Invasion. ABC pretty much screwed Invasion over by scheduling too many reruns and interrupting its schedule by replacing it with shows like The Evidence, which sucked. Invasion was too derivative anyway, with an off-putting large cast that was initially too hard to follow.

For LOST, Michael proved to still be weak-minded and bereft of good judgment. Really, it was to the point of being almost unbelievable. Wouldn’t it have been simpler and more logical for him to have simply told the castaways of his plight? And why would he believe these slithery Others would really keep their word, after Walt blurted out, “They’re pretending!”

Who’s on the boat? My bet’s on Desmond. “See ya in another life, brother!”

Dies Matris Redux

Dies Matris Redux

It’s another beautiful spring day in San Diego—sunny and warm, but not scorching. Soon my parents will arrive and we’ll go to church and dinner for Mother’s Day. This will be the best Mother’s Day I’ve been able to celebrate with my parents in at least two years. It was May 9, 2004 that I got clobbered in that car accident on the way to a restaurant from church—also a Mother’s Day. A day that will live in my personal infamy. But things have recovered unexpectedly well. The old saying, “while there’s life, there’s hope,” certainly rings true. And those who gave us that life and remain a wellspring of hope—our mothers—deserve our respect and affection today among all days.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!