Saturday, December 13, 2003

December is the Christmas mad rush season, during which we celebrate the glories of capitalism, a fat guy in a red suit, and, oh, by the way, that subversive Jewish guy who was born in Bethlehem 2003 years ago (more or less, give or take a year or two, or maybe a decade). The malls, our modern temples, are filled with worshippers of the Golden Calf, paying homage not with Gold, Frankincense and Myrh, but Visa, MasterCard and Discover.

This year, even more than last, I've done most of my shopping online. The Internet will, eventually, bury the mall. I've also gotten most of my Christmas cards mailed, though a few unexpected stragglers arrive in the mailbox daily that cause me to have to reach for the box o' cards once again.

Last week was a fun week for TV. Monday night was the finale of "Average Joe." Melana, the cheerleader, picked handsome mama's boy Jason over ordinary--but rich--Jewish boy Adam. I was disappointed in the outcome as well, but in the end, "show bidness" was what it was all about. Many of the "average Joes" were wannabe actors... For example, Tariq, the Indian "genius," will be appearing on the show "Miss Match" either this week or next. Also, perpetually nerdy accountant Dennis (the guy who got the egg on the head) also has a long list of entertainment credits. For those who want it, the publicity can be a stepping stone to an entertainment career.

I saw Melana and Jason on both "Today" and "Tonight" yesterday. Apparently their contracts stipulated that they not see each other for the last 7 months. Some romance! Seeing as how the "prize" was simply a vacation to the Caribbean with Melana, perhaps she decided if she were going to spend just a week with the "winner," it might as well have been the "hot" one. Anyway, on "Today" they called Adam, and he sounded happy. As one review put it, "most of the Joes seem terminally Jewish." He reminded me of a bulky Seinfeld. And he evidently has a new girlfriend and watched the conclusion of the show in his bar with 500 friends. Perhaps, as Katie Couric said, Adam was the real winner after all!

I probably will watch the second series, as one problem with Melana was her Midwestern "Miss Congeniality" attitude. She bore the stiff upper lip too well, and was pretty much too darned cheerful. Seeing her giggling like a schoolgirl with a crush on the quarterback during her two appearances yesterday further lowered my expectations of her. As in fiction, the most interesting characters on "reality TV" are the ones who have a little bit of an edginess, a little bit of a dark side. Remember annoying, gay Richard on the first, and only interesting, "Survivor"? Have you noticed that Melana is blonde and the new girl is a brunette, with darker skin? Is that a coincidence? I doubt it, as everything in these shows is calculated to a "tee."

As far as the election, I don't feel good about it. Americans vote their pocketbooks more than anything else, and if the statistics look good, Bush will be very hard to beat. Iraq also will play a big role, but unless there is something equivalent of 1968's Tet Offensive, I don't see Bush as doing a Lyndon Johnson. More of a Nixon, probably (not surprising in that his closest advisors are resurrected Nixonites). Have you seen the report that Wolfowitz (what a Dickensian name!) has banned France, Germany, Canada and Russia from reconstruction contracts? Bush continues to extend his Texas-sized middle finger to the world, and we'll all pay for that eventually. The dollar is plummeting vis-a-via the Euro. Greenspan's propping up Bush by keeping interest rates ridiculously low. Eventually this too shall come home to roost, and when it does, the economy will suffer. And will the Europeans feel inclined to bail us out? But, Bush won't be in office by then, he estimates, so why worry?