New Rules

Like Bill Maher, I've decided to invent some new rules of my own.

1. If you don't want to pet the monkey, quit feeding it bananas!

Call yourself my friend all you want. Really be a friend if you care to be. But don't go back and forth between gushy sentiment and outright hostility. Like Jesus once said, "Be either hot or cold, but if you are luke warm I will vomit you out of my mouth."

2. If you don't understand something I write, ask me about it!

I enjoy using different writing styles, even in e-mails to friends. You certainly may not comprehend what I am trying to achieve, but that doesn't give you free reign to condescend.

3. Don't do me any favors, please!

The handicapped boy can get along just fine on his own. Your offers to "do good" for me are sometimes apppreciated, but not normally needed or welcomed. If I want your help, I'll ask for it! Too many offers of help may make you feel like a saint, but it mostly shows me you have inner self-worth issues you should probably see a shrink about.

4. Don't lie!

Say what you mean and do what you say.