Welcome to my new blog!

I recently discovered the drawback to using FrontPage as my Web editor. RoadRunner allows 5 mb of disk space on their server for so-called "free personal pages." Since I've been updating my journal regularly, I used up the space RoadRunner has alloted. This caught me by surprise, as I used to have much more "stuff" on my old AOL page. But FrontPage makes all kinds of backup and virtual files, duplicating each and every page and image I post!

Btw, I did get into the writing class at UCSD. They had an opening turn up after all and I was at the top of the list. So my ego is a little bit assuaged. ;-) The class starts on January 18, so now I need to plan the logistics. Life was so much simpler when I could just drive!! Grrrr....

:-/

Also, we got the x-rays from the Evil Dr. Phibes, er... T yesterday and my dad took them promptly to Dr. Freeman's office. No word today, but then it's a holiday week and everyone is goofing off. Dr. Landers's nurse practitioner did admit to me yesterday that there is "no love lost" between Landers and T. But, getting him (Landers) to do anything has been almost impossible. Landers's nurse said "Doctors just don't interfere with each other that way." Then they bitch and moan about malpractice! Seems to me there would be fewer losses if they would police themselves better, rather than waiting to react to lawsuits.

It's Christmas Eve!

A quiet day for me. My parents are having the festivities over at their home. The grandkids will be there, along with their parents. They will attend the 5:00 Vigil Mass: the one for all the kiddies. Then they will have dinner and open packages. This is the first time in my life I won't be attending. I thought about taking that MTS Access mini-bus over, but I've only been on that thing once and am not that confident in it. If MTS ended up stranding me at my parents', it would not be a good night for all!

Tomorrow my parents will come over and bring my uncle. A nice, casual day like that is much more to my tastes.

Weather-wise, it's been sunny and warm this week: low 70s throughout the urban parts of the county.

SOSDD

Today Sue, Dr. Landers's nurse, called before I got up and I wasn't able to reach her later, as Landers's office is closed for the rest of the week. Sharp's Patient Relations representative wasn't able to accomplish anything either. She called this morning and repeated what Paula had already said, that we will hear from Dr. T when he comes back on Monday.

It seems that no one really gives a damn....

Today the medical saga continues. My dad came over and picked up my written request about 10:30 this morning and drove to T's office on Frost Street, across from Sharp Memorial, where T is a practicing surgeon.

When my dad arrived and presented Paula, T's secretary, with the letter, she insisted that they "do not give out originals" of x-rays and wanted him to pay for them. Then Paula told him she could not release the copies anyway, since Dr. T is out of town and he has to personally approve giving the x-rays out. So my dad was sent away with nothing, and I have nothing yet for Freeman to look at. This is crazy!!

Iliana, my Maxim case manager called Paula later in the afternoon and got the same story, with a promise that T's office will call me Monday. Later today I called Dr. Landers's nurse practitioner, Sue (she was out of the office) and left her a voice mail about the situation. Then I called Freeman and left him a description of the problems with T also.

Finally tonight about 4:35 I called Sharp's Patient Relations hotline and told a woman named Patrice about the issues with T. She was obviously unhappy with the situation, especially concerning how T's secretary wanted to charge my dad and then refused to give the x-ray copies. Patrice tried to call T's office but they were gone. Since Patrice will be out of the office tomorrow she promised that an associate of hers will call T and see if her office (Patient Relations) can free up the x-rays before 'Xmas.'

More tomorrow!

A bas les medecins!

Today I finally got a callback from Dr. Freeman. He seems very cordial on the phone. He told me that he got the records from Dr. T, but not the x-rays, and it's the latest x-rays he really needs to see. So, tomorrow my dad will carry a letter to T's office, demanding that he be given the x-rays, which he will then carry by hand to Freeman.This is all worse than getting a root canal at your local dentist! I have been working on the second opinion since November, about six weeks....More tomorrow!

Right now I'm waiting for a technician to come check out the state of my air mattress. The guy called an hour or more ago and still hasn't shown up. When he called, he said he couldn't find my address on "Caminito Ruiz." Well, duh! Maybe because it doesn't exist! Then he said his company had no record of ever having installed the mattress. When I pointed out to him that we got his company's number off the tag on the mattress, he kept asking if we got the number from the motor housing...

I realize that air mattresses are not the equivalent of Saturn V rockets, but the idiocy of the medical companies never ceases to amaze me.

Speaking of idiots, the secretary of my orthopedist promised to send my records over to Dr. Freeman, the new doctor. That was on Monday. Today when I called to check, she admitted that she hadn't: "Oh I'm just scatterbrained sometimes," she said. Me thinks she doth protest too much. Freeman's secretary already told me that the other guy's office "isn't good about sending records." I think the original orthopedist, whom I shall call "Dr. T" from now on, may just be beginning to suspect the jig is up on his neglectful treatment.

I'm doing okay, but life is a tough struggle right now. I'd love to get outof my home and go shopping, hang out at Starbuck's, buy books, meet up withmy family for Sunday brunch. None of that is possible at present, since thestate still hasn't approved modifying my van so I can ride in it as apassenger. Driving again will be at some far-off date, if ever. I'm alsoseeking a second opinion from another orthopedic surgeon, as my originalone just doesn't seem to care about someone like me, who as he says is "notgoing to run or ski."Meanwhile, that anthology editor who had my story about the spiders (whichI turned in for SS II) wrote to me that he doesn't know when he'll finishthe book, since he lives in Florida and "lost a lot of stuff in thehurricanes." So I'm in the process of going over it again to sendelsewhere; eight months is enough for that work to hang in limbo. I'm goingto submit it to City Slab, even though a story set in suburbia (but, whatelse is there in San Diego?) might not be the perfect match for them. Thestory that Judy saw in part is also on my project list. But focusing ishard, after months of rotting my brain in the hospital and in bed at home.At least I'm back to writing every day now, even if it's only journalarticles in my website's blog.

Today hasn't been a particularly good day; another segment of a particularly bad year.

To start with, I went to a new orthopedist today. I was all set to get his second opinion on how my right leg is healing (or not healing). This was the leg that received the compound fractures during the accident. Unfortunately, when I got to the new doctor's office, it became apparent they hadn't looked at the documents I had sent them (at their request). Thus, they hadn't looked at the medical release form I had signed and hadn't gotten my records and x-rays from the first orthopedist. At least they seemed genuinely embarassed by the snafu. The new doctor promised to call me as soon as he got the records. At least they didn't charge me for the visit!

The second thing that happened was I just got an e-mail from Judy Reeves rejecting my application to her invitation-only "read and critique" course. I think this was my first rejection to a class since my sophomore year at high school. I'm not sure what happened. I sent her an excerpt of a rough draft, thinking that was what she wanted. Evidently not!

Oh well, back to the "writing board."

My previous post to this journal was on May 8, 2004. On May 9, on a beautiful Spring day in San Diego, I was involved in a terrible car accident. My van was nearly totaled and I sustained many injuries, including multiple fractures to my legs, a broken arm, and head laceration.

My journey back is only beginning. I spent most of May, all of June and three fourths of July in Kindred Hospital here in San Diego. Late last month, my casts were removed and I began to feel more normal. Still, I require 24-hour nursing care and can only get out of bed with the aid of a lift operated by a nurse. I'm even still wearing one of those silly, open-backed hospital gowns. ;-)

Thanks to the love, prayers and visits of my family and friends, I am getting through this ordeal.

One last thought: Never take anything for granted.

David

This is my first posting in this journal since May 8, 2004. On Sunday, May 9, I was involved in a terrible car accident at an intersection in Scripps Ranch, a neighborhood in the northern part of the city of San Diego. In the accident, I broke both legs and my right arm.

I spent May, June and July in the hospital. In late September, my casts were removed and I am slowly getting back to normal. The thoughts, prayers and visits of many kind people and the love of my family have helped me heal.

I will start posting much more often now, as I look forward to resuming my writing career. Many things have been left unfinished; I really want to get back to my life.

You can never know what the future may hold. It's a cliché, but no less true for that.

It's a sunny, not-too-warm day today. The day before Mother's Day.

Nothing much new going on. I'm waiting to see if T. H. and her husband make good on their promise to pay up on the $12,000 she owes me, despite her bankruptcy. She is an amazing person; she broke every promise she made to me over 12 years and then in the end, acted as if I had somehow wronged her. It's a shame that she's a special ed teacher, yet she has single-handedly made a mess out of the life of one of the few disabled adults she has known. She and her husband have three small boys; I hope they straighten themselves out before those children become aware of the scam their parents perpetrated.

Speaking of abuse, everybody's hot on the trail of the Abu Ghraib scandal. I really enjoy Rush Limbaugh's take on the episode, that it's just "people blowing off steam." Like Jay Leno said last nigth, "what, is this guy (Rush) on drugs?" I know when I feel down I always find it's helpful to blow off steam by stripping people naked, piling them in pyramids, snapping leashes around their necks and then taking photographs. What a souvenir of my duty in Iraq! Rumsfeld was on point yesterday at those committee meetings. He started out by apologising, but then he was unable to admit to any specific act of wrongdoing. Everything went perfectly and according to plan, he maintained, except for those ruffian guards and the person who leaked the photos. Over and over again he kept saying, "the problem is the photos." Sorry Don, the problem is the immorality and incompetence of you and Bush's administration.

Well, the other shoe finally dropped today. Michael Wiesner, the "big boss" from BGS headquarters showed up at the San Diego office this morning with two HR people in tow. Dum dum DUM!! They are shutting down the SD office. Glenn got the "Donald," but the rest were offered a menu consisting of layoffs or transfers to Boston. Tasty!! So far, the only ones committing to Boston are the H1b visa holders (who don't have much choice--they are almost like old-fashioned indentured servants.)

Meanwhile, my lunch was nice today. Met Doug at Mimi's. He's been out of work most of the year and a half since we were laid off. But his prospects are looking up in that he might get a job at Northrop Grumman here in San Diego.

NBC finished "Average Joe III: Adam Returns" this week. Pretty much everyone was disappointed Adam chose superficial Samantha and her tutu-clad dog over cute, spunky, wholesome Rachel. Adam proved himself to be just as shallow as Melana and Larissa! I was rooting for Rachel from the start. Judging from the AJ bulleting boards, I wasn't the only one. One viewer wrote "the show should be called 'Average Ho.'" Another said Samantha is Jason, only worse: Jason with a $45 tutu-wearing dog!

Even if they do another of these shows, that's it for me. These people are just too dumb for words...

I saw "The Passion of the Christ" last Saturday. It was a film I dearly wanted to like, but I came away dissatisfied and depressed. Since when is a movie about Jesus supposed to be a downer?

Mel is definitely a throwback in his esthetics. The movie is a Medieval Passion Play with 21st century special effects gore. Midget babies, crows pecking eyes out, gallons of blood in scene after scene... Weird. Not uplifting at all, as you would expect a film about Jesus to be. I usually rate films on their DVD-ability, as in "would I like to buy the DVD?" For Mel's "Passion," the answer is, unfortunately, NO. I did find the Latin and Aramaic interesting. Having recently studied Arabic, I was surprised about how many words I could recognize. And the simplified Latin was Italianate, so that didn't even need subtitles.

If you want to see a good film about Jesus, see Zefirelli's "Jesus of Nazareth." Zefirelli preserves the mystical beauty of the Gospels, which is something Mel's version is sorely lacking.

Tales of the Moderately Disturbing

I just got back from a trip to my local Barnes & Noble, and discovered that the Horror section has been reduced to an end-cap on the Literature aisle. Yikes! And the end-cap only had all the usual suspects: King, Saul, etc.

Is Horror further on the decline? If so, I've been reading all these genre mags, like City Slab, and can perhaps see a trend. Is it just me, or is most of what passes for HORROR these days more like, moderately unwholesome, disturbing and/or depressing, rather than horrorific? When we read Datlow's YBFH, I thought, "well, maybe it's been a bad year for horror." Nothing, really, gave me that electric thrill up and down the spine like I got the first time I picked up a book by, say, Clive Barker. Then I thought, "Well, maybe it's just Ellen's taste," since I find about half the stories she puts on SCIFICTION to be trivial, gross and dull. But, now I've plowed through Cemetery Dance, Weird Tales, City Slab, Flesh & Blood, and I find the same dull tone there. Where's the excitement?

If horror results from "fear for the soul," can we have horror in a materialistic age in which the soul plays second fiddle to the latest Chinese-manufactured gizmo? I read Ellen's interview in City Slab where she says she "doesn't believe in the supernatural," or in "life after death." Hell's Bells! Then what's the point? I'm not suggesting only the uber-religious can write good horror, but perhaps if horror has become only a prop for modern psychobabble, then that's why its market share is falling. It's just not satisfying.

This week will be the fourth and penultimate session for my Short Story II class. I'm going to step things up a bit this week and bring one of my "wilder" stories in. At first I wasn't sure if the class could deal with something really unusuall and "edgy," but now I see from my classmates' offerings that they should be okay with what I bring. Then, for the final class, I'll bring my new, 5300-word story, "The Parable of the Tapestry."

I spent a lot of the day pondering markets again. It's so hard to decide what's appropriate and what's not. And there's no point in wasting time and postage mailing a submission to a market you know won't care for it.

Speaking of horror, or Horror (with a capital h), last week on TV started the new Stephen King miniseries, "Kingdom Hospital." Most of the reviews, including that of Tom Shales, have wanted to blow this story back to "kingdom come." I don't think the show is that bad. Last week's premiere suffered from laggardly pacing, due largely to being stuffed with ads. I did like the talking ardvaark, crow and german shepard. The main problem with the show is the premise, though. It seems Kingdom Hospital rests on "uneasy ground" where the dead are restless, and therein lieth the horror.

But in fact, in my experience, hospital horror derives not from forgotten graveyards full of dead children's corpses, but rather the everyday horror of illness and the feeble attempts of human beings to endure them, or cure them. In a sense, hospitals would be more soothing if they DID have a few ghosts roaming about. At least ghosts would reassure us that there is an afterlife. The horror of hospitals derives from the mechanization of disease and its treatment: the white coats, the pink nurses' uniforms with the cutesy little teddy bears, the buzzes, dings and beeps, the glaring lights. I saw a recent news report on a study that showed hospital rooms as being noisier than a jet plane, on average. Dehumization is horrifying. Becoming a statistic is horrifying. Soullessness is the ultimate horror. If ghosts desired to roam a hospital, they would hardly need more justification than the locale itself. When I was a resident of the ICU for a whole summer back in 82, I couldn't help but imagine the many people who had died in the very same room I was staying in. Some years later, both my grandparents did pass away in that very ICU, in rooms adjacent to where I had been. Think of the things that occur in a typical hospital: dismemberments, disembowlings, forced feedings, castrations, removal of eyes, breasts, brains, kidneys, hearts lungs, and blood. Strange and poisonous chemicals are injected into inert victims .... er... "patients" just to see how they'll react.

The difference between a medical center and a good, old fashioned medieval torture chamber is that one is supposed to be grateful to the Gods of Medicine for the benificence that they bestow upon one. At least a victim of judicial torture is allowed to be pissed off at his or her tormenters! For in truth the medievalists were trying to save souls--confess and the torture will stop. Modern medicine is agnostic about the soul. Confession gains the inmate--inpatient--nothing. The attention is all devoted to the body, as though salvation of the body is all that matters, in a 13 billion-year-old universe in which we dwell for at best a century. And it's not even the whole body that counts. Patients are treated piecemeal. For example, to my doctors I was mainly a pair of lungs on a breathing machine. If something else went wrong, it was time for another specialist to come in and treat that specific limb of the body, as though the whole were not greater than the sum of the parts. All this being a long-winded way of pointing out that Herr King missed the real chance to explore horror in the modern world.

Hey it's March already...

Kerry has won the Democratic primary season. Bush is on the attack here in the state he so frequently ignored, California. I hope Kerry can turn things around for the party. I don't know how he'll deal with the "liberal" onslaught.

I feel like I live in another country, the way the election results turn out. I can pretty much predict anymore how an election will come out, based on picking the oposite of the candidates I vote for. Egads!

In better news, looks like Mars had a watery past... Did it sustain life? The prospects have certainly approved. Now Nasa needs to get a sample-return mission up, and soon.

Hmm ... that link for the article didn't work. Let's try it again!

http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniontrib/20040223/news_1c23slant.html

Wel it's been raining lately. What is perhaps the last big storm of the season has been rolling through the county, leaving sewer spills and auto accidents in its wake. We will never learn, it seems.

But overall it's been a very good week for me. Last Friday, out of the blue, I got a call from the Currents Editor of the San Diego Union Tribune. "We're going to publish your article," he said. He added, "It's wonderful." Wow! I was taken aback. Finally, after months of struggling, a ray of hope shines through. If you're reading this blog and want to see the article online, go to this link:

Tonight, I have another class for Short Story II. It's been fun, so far, even if not as advanced as I had hoped. But then again, one gets out of a class in proportion to the effort one puts into it. Last week, I brought "Mother's Night" to the class and the other members of my group seemed to enjoy it. Tonight, it's "Europa's Children."

Movie-wise, I want to see "Hidalgo." It looks far more inspiring that Mel Gibson's dreadful Crucifixion film. Not that I won't go see Gibson's neo-Romanesque epic, but it's not as high on my priority list as it once might have been, despite having all dialog in either Aramaic or Latin. Any movie spoken in two dead languages can't be all bad!